Again...Another crap...

Been in this situation before...
been in this question before...been in this dumb silent before. i really don't know what the answer.

in a very long time, i've been decide to share everything, and still can't answered the question, that i can only say, all the crap question. why i need u, why i want u, why i be with u? why, n why, n another why...
it's just like a path. i can't resist path. that's just like me n blood type.
this is why i really like being a maker...a life maker, a story maker. it's all in me. nobody can sue me for what i've made. nobody can throw me a bottle for the story i made. because i got that 'power'. a power that i can make to make another crap...
everything seems fun, seems interesting when u arround....that's all i can say. there is no because....*i guess*.

***

Lately, i feel so insecure. i feel so afraid, of something that i really hope.
i just read a messege that say, "wake up...n bla..bla..bla...masih ada tempat lain yang mau menghargai lu..."
this is not a messege for me excatly, but it feel like i just got shoot right into the middle of my forehead. and thet...blow....duaarrrr.....
imma really stuck in my very own mind. can't really handle it. can't even really take a deep breathe. lately i feel like a dead body with a mind. so tight over here. yup over here...*pointing at my heart.
am i the only one who've being so optimist in this life??? why?
seriously, why???
be on our own is the only one we can proud of. someday we will share it to our future, that our desicion just change our path....
pride is someting growth, just like an asset.